I saw an ad for the local news last night that ended like with the following:

“San Diego’s homeless are no longer out in the cold. What the mayor did to keep the shelter open, at 11.”

Does anyone else find that amusing? It’s not that I don’t think San Diego’s homeless should have a shelter, I have to wade through them every time I go to the beach, so I’m all for giving them somewhere else to go. I just think the news  writers could have emphasized a differed advantage the shelter gives the homeless.

But I’m glad the mayor is helping the less fortunate, so lets all raise a glass to San Diego’s mayor.

Amature Hour

No doubt the loyal readers of this blog are a hardy lot. And as such have long since cast away the days of drinking three beers (or one Boones Farm) and acting like a jackass. No I would guess that the collection of individuals that looks to this site for guidance in the qwest for meaningfull intoxication have built up a tollerance to alcohol that would make even the the most grizzled 1850’s claim jumper feel a sence of disturbed pride. But this post is for all the others. Your buddy who only comes out partying once in a blue moon, but when he does you know you can count on him to get tragicly drunk off 8 beers and end up covered in mustard standing on a table screaming obseneties at the top of his lungs. This past weekend bore witness to one of those moments. A friend of mine who recently decided to exit the legions of those who own homes had a house cooling party at his soon to be former abode. By 8:30 he had inbibed several cervasas, pounded a tall boy of Steel Reserve, shotgunned a can of Busch, recieved one swift kick to the baby maker, and attempted (unsecsessfully) to murder a buddy of his with a shovel. Through these actions (and an exessive amount of loud cursing) he also managed to convince most of the neighborhood that his leaving town was probably a good thing.

So lets raise a glass to all those healthy livered friends, who provide ample entertainment on the occasion that they escape their homes.

No, I Don’t Want to Buy Handwoven Baskets

I went to grab some dinner last night, and ran into the local street fair that goes on every wednesday. I wandered around until I remembered how hungry I was and went back to my original task.

The hunger might have made me grumpy and clouded my judgement, but I walked away thinking that street fairs are a way for people who make things nobody would buy to get people who like to go to street fairs and buy stuff (because they enjoy the experience) to buy things they’ll never use. But I could be wrong.

To street fairs.

If You Want Something Done Right…

So I had an idea for a blog, this blog to be more precise. I thought the blog would work best if it had at least one post a day. That way, loyal readers wouldn’t have to worry that we might not leave them fending for themselves if they needed something to toast on consecutive days. But posting everyday seemed like more time than I wanted to commit. I am busy after all (I’m not really).

So I enlisted The Pitt as a co-blogger. I received word from The Pitt that he would be shirking his duties this coming week due to a trip to Jamaica. That is completely reasonable. I wrote back to him that it would be great if he could save a few posts before leaving, and to let me know what slack I needed to pick up. He did not do the first, which I can understand, I’m sure he was busy buying sunscreen and tight swim trunks. He did not do the second either. All I was looking for was an email, something like “Hey, I’m too busy trying on extra tight swim trunks to write any blogs. You have to do everything next week.” That was too much to ask.

So lets all raise a glass to good help. It’s hard to find.

Why You Should Give Your Kids Swords

According to the morning show on 91-X radio in San Diego, two burglars recently broke into a Florida home. Wait, it gets better. Two siblings, a 15 year old boy and a girl of unmentioned age were home at the time. The girl saw the burglars before they came in and hid…leaving her brother sleeping on the couch.

The burglars went around burgling, until they found a playstation 3 box. This lead to noisier burgling in search of the Playstation 3. This woke up the sleeping 15 year old. Apparently he trains in some kind of martial art. So he went to get his trusty Samurai sword. What did he do with the sword? What does anyone do with a Samurai sword? He cut the fucking burglar. The burglars made a quick escape. They were later apprehended.

Unfortunately for them, there’s no workers comp for burglers, if I get cut with a samurai sword on the job, I won’t go to jail, I’ll get paid vacation. To workers comp.

Traffic

We’ve been getting 30+ hits a day lately, with a high of 80 on June 13. That isn ‘t much for a lot of blogs, but considering how lame this one is I think its pretty impressive. The good folks at WordPress give us a nice page showing how many hits different posts are getting and what kind of searches lead people to our blog.

I’m all for giving the people what they want, and apparently people dig hot chicks and smoking monkeys. My other blog (which is dying of neglect) got a lot of traffic based on a story about transvestites in Jaco, Costa Rica. Mentioning this will hopefully get us some of that oh-so important transvestite seeking web traffic. I can’t decide on my next blog, I’ve got the titled narrowed down to hotchicksandsmokingmonkeys.com or hotchicksandtransvestitesmokingmonkeys.com , but who am I kidding, I’m sure those are taken.

So raise a glass with me, to hot chicks and smoking monkeys. Then I’ll give you all some of the pics your looking for.

Bim-Bam, the smoking monkey

Diora Bard, a Hot Chick

…and Mr. Huggsy, who’s peer pressure got Bim-Bam smoking

and one more hot chick, Jessica Alba

Buy Some Music, Save the World

John Lennon used to be my favorite Beatle, back when I was young, idealistic and listened to the Beattles. The other day I picked up Instant Karma, its a bunch of different artists covering Lennon (solo) tunes. I’m not here to give a cd review, but I definitely dig most of the cuts. The album was put out to raise money and awareness for Amnesty Internationals campaign against all the bad stuff going on in Darfur. Its a noble cause, so buy the cd and sign their online petition (that won’t even cost you anything, so do it).

Then raise a glass to your favorite Beatle, here’s to George.

It All Starts With the Feet

I haven’t worn shoes regularly since February. Drink to one life’s greatest pleasures, comfy sandals.

Definitely Worth Toasting

According to the Freakonomics blog, to day is Celebrating the Power of a Smile Day. After seeing how much more traffic we got after posting one pic of Anna Kournakova, I was thinking of adding some particurlalry attractive smiles for the world to drink to, but I think it’d be best if you found your own smile to toast. Don’t be afraid to toast your own.

So go find a nice smile, and drink to the power of that smile.

Hopefully This Won’t Affect My Blogging

I haven’t worked since February. Since then I have traveled all over Costa Rica, seen a few spots in Panama, gone home to spend time with friends and family, left friends and family to drive down the Pacific coast and set up shop in lovely San Diego. All good things must end, I start work monday.

To unemployment.