On the Cheney Presidency

I just learned from the one true source for news that Dick Cheney was our nation’s acting president for a couple of hours last weekend while a Presidential colonoscopy was performed.

During his brief reign over our nation, President Cheney classified the second and third floors of the library of congress, ordered his secret service agents to open fire on seven old men and gave a fifty billion dollar contract to Haliburton to…shoot old men.

The Cheney Presidency will be remembered for making us all realize that it could be worse. Going back to STP’s post makes me wonder who would win if Cheney ran against Alexander Putin?  We will never know, but I do know that I will raise a glass to the blessed lack of complications during W’s ass-surgery.

Probably Applies to Yahtzee As Well

Sometimes, when a girl asks you if you want to go back to her place at 2 a.m. for a game of scrabble, she doesn’t really want to play scrabble.

I propose a toast to scrabble!

Breaking News From the World of Checkers

The nyTimes reported on a major breakthrough in childhood gaming. Researchers have proven that the Chinook computer program is unbeatable in checkers, but I bet I could woop its ass in tetherball. The articles best sentence: “A checkers hobbyist has independently verified major components of the proof with another computer program.” Checkers hobbyist?

If you’ve got mad checkers skills and are into trying to prove the man wrong, you can play Chinook at http://www.cs.ualberta.ca/~chinook/play/

I’m not going to try, I’m just going to drink to Chinook.