He Won’t Get Hurt With All That Crap He Wears

So Barry hit the big one. Once he decided he was to good to even try and break the record in San Diego, I had hoped he would be beaned mercilessly, forcing him to retire without ever breaking the record. I propose a toast to the next pitcher, whoever he is, to hit Barry Bonds.

Congressional Bitch Slap

Senate debate has been resurected on the issue of the Media Fairness Doctrine. Although I strongly disagree with the reason that Preston Brooks savagely beat Charles Sumner in the above portrait, I can only hope that some freedom of speach loving (or at least legislative restriction hating) senator is plotting a similar thrashing.

Cheers to legislative beat downs.

On the Cheney Presidency

I just learned from the one true source for news that Dick Cheney was our nation’s acting president for a couple of hours last weekend while a Presidential colonoscopy was performed.

During his brief reign over our nation, President Cheney classified the second and third floors of the library of congress, ordered his secret service agents to open fire on seven old men and gave a fifty billion dollar contract to Haliburton to…shoot old men.

The Cheney Presidency will be remembered for making us all realize that it could be worse. Going back to STP’s post makes me wonder who would win if Cheney ran against Alexander Putin?  We will never know, but I do know that I will raise a glass to the blessed lack of complications during W’s ass-surgery.

We Were Hoping For PG-13

This blog led me to this website, which told me that this blog is rated PG, based on STP’s use of the word murder. I’d like to think I have some more offensive posts in me, but maybe I’m just a PG kind of guy. Of course, we are more or less all about boozin here, and that seems PG-13.

Here’s to parental guidance!

Spoiler Alert

I found out today that the new Harry Potter book has been leaked onto the internet.  Personally I don’t feel like reading 700+ pages online so I will wait for the real copy.  However we should have an obligatory cheers to the inevitable youtube videos of people who have read the thing in advance running through bookstores and spoiling the ending for countless little kids and then getting beat up by some parents.

2 parts gross incompetence and three parts mal intent

It’s easy (for me anyway) to trash talk our Commander and Chief for dragging us into an ill conceived war with no exit strategy for what appears to be a mixed bag of motivation ranging from straight up “you tried to kill my daddy revenge” to a strict diversionary tactic intended to take all eyes away from an economic plan that doesn’t exist. However, Russian President Vladimir Putin seems to be bumping people off at an alarming rate (Anna Politkovskaya, Alexander Litvinenko, etc). So while things may be bad here, they’re worse somewhere else.

Cheers to not being in last place!

Explanation is on the Link

Todays toast is to the American voting public.